As I write this, my wife and I are driving from South Carolina to Ohio (actually, she’s driving and I’m typing). Behind us we leave our youngest recently launched into her freshman year at college. Before us a new chapter for the two of us: after over 22 years of having children in the house, we will again be empty-nesters. As we approached this weekend I thought about the final nuggets of (hopefully profound) advice I could give my daughter that would encapsulate all my wife and I have tried to live and teach through the years. I posted a request to my friends on Facebook asking for final advice and here are a couple of the responses:

- "Remember our phone number, not just our account number."
- "Ben & Jerry don't make good roommates."
- “Tell her to beware of weasels (male species)."
- "…look as deeply into her eyes as possible, one hand resting firmly but gently on each shoulder and say 'I love you & that means my heart and soul and prayers are with you 24/7....you have my complete permission to wallop weasels. "

Of course, much of the advice was serious (not that being aware of the weasels isn’t very serious). “Be smart with your time.” “Be aware of your surroundings.” “Put it all in God’s hands at the beginning, middle and end of each day.” And some of the advice was encouraging to me. They reminded me that she comes from a loving and caring family and that “what you have taught her she will take with her always.” That took some of the pressure off to find spectacular final words of wisdom.

I heard a valedictorian give a speech recently where she encouraged her classmates about the future. She spoke openly about her faith which I thought that was very cool in a day where that is often discouraged in those settings. But something about what she said bothered me for a time. There was something that wasn’t sitting quite right. Then I realized her perspective was that she was embarking on a journey of her choice and that God would be there to serve her as she reached toward her goals. That ran counter to what God has been trying to teach me. God is not here to serve us on our journey, we are to serve him on the journey he calls each of us to join.

That thought gave me my final advice for my daughter.

Sweetheart: Go deep in your relationship with Jesus. Join his journey and live the adventure!

I recently spent a long weekend in NYC w/ my wife and daughter - our last trip before she headed to college. It was my 3rd trip to NYC this year. The first was with the guys to see the Allman Brothers and catch some good blues and the second was with the Future Traveler group planning future expressions of the church. So this trip was very different. We saw Lion King but I couldn't bring myself to see Mary Poppins (I went to the King Tut exhibit instead). And I don't get the idea of shopping when you're "just looking". Seems if you need something you go get it - if you don't need anything, why go? Anyway, that’s how I ended up on Fifth Avenue and in St. Patrick's Cathedral.

St. Patrick's is one of the most awe-inspiring worship facilities I've ever experienced (I attended a service there last year). What struck me this time, though, was not the magnificence of the structure but rather the image of a lone individual seeking to connect with God. After moving among the masses of humanity over the past couple of days, his intentional, solitary posture gripped me. Even here he was surrounded by site seers and photographers all seemingly unaware of his private supplication.

It reminded me what it’s like to live in Christ in real time.

I think it’s important to start the day in private prayer so that we are prepared to join Him in his journey for our lives. It’s good to remember God’s blessings before a meal (try praying after the meal to keep it from becoming an empty ritual). It’s good to pray before any sizeable endeavor. AND: I think it’s just as important to be in conversation with God in real time throughout the day. That can be difficult to do on some days. Don’t some days seem to rush ahead with hardly a moment to catch your breath? On some days don’t you feel surrounded by people and demands that close in tighter as the day progresses? Too often I run ahead under my own strength trying to conquer the day, usually forgetting God when I feel like I have things under control.

But I’m learning that when I live in my strength I severely limit what God wants to do through me. I am trying to understand what Paul was saying in II Corinthians when he quoted Jesus saying, “…my power is made perfect in weakness.” I want to learn to live out of my weakness and God’s strength. To do that I am learning that it has to be his adventure, not mine. I am learning to invite Him into the chaos and the calm; the trials and triumphs; the rush and renewal – everything that makes up life in real time.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
II Corinthians 12:9-10

The sigmoid curve (above) is used to describe the stages of the life of an organism, product, civilization or organization – even a church. The Inception of any expression of a church initiates the curve with a clear and compelling vision. In the early days it was fueled by passion that was ignited by the vision and for sometime thereafter there was a period of significant Growth. Programs and methods were added to facilitate the vision and things actually got easier as the church settled into a system. In fact, it was during the Maturity stage where everything ran the smoothest. But somewhere along the road it became more about the programs and methods than it did the vision and there was a Decline. The vision (if anyone can remember it) no longer ignited passion.

Where is your church on the sigmoid curve? Do you just feel stalled?
Check out Tim Chester’s “Ten reasons why churches stall.”

The good news is that you can begin a new sigmoid curve. You can recapture the vision and passion that marked the early days of your church. It’s not an easy thing to do and, frankly, many church don’t make the transition. A new sigmoid curve (in your church or in your personal life) demands a refocus on Jesus – the living Jesus of scripture, not the comfortable Jesus of culture. Embracing the real Jesus is radical and risky. But it is also thrilling and fulfilling, ironically producing the purest form of peace and joy. That kind of relationship with Jesus launches us into the world to serve and to make disciples.

Not every expression of the church is meant to last (none of the first century expressions of the church still exist). But every member is meant to have a passionate relationship with Jesus. And those members together form the expressions God has chosen to change the world.

“The Church is nothing but a section of humanity in which Christ has truly taken form.”
Dietrich Bonheoffer

Multisite continues to be one of the fastest growing approaches for church expansion. This strategy is used by many denominations and independent groups, even internationally. According to my friend, Jim Tomberlin (the foremost authority on all things multisite), “There will be over 5,000 multi-site churches by the end of 2010.” Multisite efforts are typically thought of as a new campus from an existing church. But, sometimes it can be a way to effect a merger that energizes a new works capitalizing on resources already part of the church.

When we started consulting with Bethany Church in Greenland, New Hampshire (about an hour north of Boston) there was no thought of multisite. During the process of planning new facilities on their only campus, they were approached by a church that was badly dying - only 12 people, a facility and a very small mortgage. It was clear this was an opportunity to consider. The Cogun Team brought Jim in to consult with us and he uncovered the important issues including location strategy, volunteer development, staff development, teaching options, do’s & don’ts of multisite and DNA transfer requirements. Knowing the questions to ask as well as understanding the implications of the answers, led to the right multisite solution.

Multisite is a sending strategy that deepens disciples. It can often accelerate the impact of the Gospel on a community. But not every church is ready to go multisite and not every potential merger is poised for success. If you want to explore whether or not multisite is a solution for you, I invite you to contact Jim at http://multi-sitesolutions.com/. In the meantime, here the shorthand version of Jim’s 5 P’s for multisite:

Prayer to Proceed – The one thing that really matters is God’s call
Provision to Start – It takes seed money
Pastor to Lead – The most important component in going multisite
People to Follow - The strength of a multi-site launch is the core of followers who come out of the sending congregation.
Place to Meet - The ideal place for a multi-site campus is within the 15-30 minute perimeter of the sending campus.

The idea of ministry in a coffee shop has been around for some time now. The book that coined the phrase “Third Place” (“The Great Good Place”) was written by Dr. Ray Oldenburg before 1990. We (Cornerstone Knowledge Network) brought Dr. Oldenburg up over six years ago to get his thoughts on churches and third places. He had some compelling insights but the admonition that has stuck with me is, “Third place is not an opportunity for the church; it is a responsibility.” And third places are not limited to coffee shops.

I have a pastor friend, Dave, that has been trying to develop a ministry opportunity in the café around the corner from their offices. It’s a great opportunity but nothing has come together yet. In the midst of trying to make that work, God opened up an entirely unexpected third place:

Dave’s church sponsors a softball team that is made up largely of people that don’t go to church; actually, guys that won’t go to church. Recently one of the guys invited Dave to the local fitness center for a weightlifting fundraiser. He was happy to go but was extremely uncomfortable among the buff and brawn. He realized that’s how these guys feel when they visit a church. He shared this with one of the guys and they both realized how similar the feeling would be. Out of that conversation came the idea of meeting in a room above the fitness center (that Dave didn’t even know existed). Following softball season, they plan to meet there on Tuesday nights. Spiritual conversations in relational space. Very cool.

The coffee shop ministry may still come together but I’m glad he wasn’t so focused on a certain way of doing third place that he missed where God was working. I’m glad his creativity didn’t get in the way of God’s.

There are few people that would argue with the idea that we are now a global community. The economic crisis deepened the awareness or how our circumstances are wed to those of people a world away. We were always united together but technology has magnified the impact and awareness. Yet, for all our global connectedness, there are tremendous disparities. Disparities that should break our hearts. Gallup research tells us that the range of people "thriving" varies from 82% to 1%.

There are a couple of things that trouble me about Jesus’ description in the latter part of Matthew 25 of how people will be separated when he returns. I know that our relationship with God can’t be earned – it is a gift of grace that must simply be accepted. That means that those that are received into the inheritance of heaven will have been in the habit of ministering to those less fortunate. I don’t know that I have developed that habit. The other thing that bothers me is that the people were surprised. They were meeting the needs of the disenfranchised simply out of love, not knowing they were touching Jesus.

So how do we make serving the poor a way of life? Maybe it’s some combination of intentionality on our part and asking God to let his love flow through us. My Dad has committed his life to the “least of these”. I remember him saying that at one point he had no idea of the abundance of needs that were right in our community as well as those around the world. Maybe our part is to intentionally understand the needs and the depth of the disparity that exists locally and globally. Then be ready to respond to what God does in our hearts, recognizing that we are touching Jesus when we serve the poor.

“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me.’” - Matthew 25:40

Have you seen Jesus lately?

That’s never been truer than for the way churches finance capital expenditures today. Gone are the days when you could talk to your local banker and they would bend over backwards to make the loan work. Money is cheap but lending is tight. Capital remains constricted and there is reluctance on the part of many lending institutions to step out when they already have so many under-collateralized commercial loans. Cash is still king but cash flow is the emperor. Banks no longer rely on the pledge of funds and are requiring churches to have a 6 to 12 month history demonstrating the receipts of those pledges. And banks no longer assume the appreciation of real estate values so the Loan-to-Value Ratio (LTV) is more critical and will not likely be able to exceed 75%.

So what changes do churches need to secure the capital they need for expansion? Here are some key strategies financing under the new rules of the game:

1) Be clear: There has never been a more important time than now for churches to have clarity about their vision. The vision and mission must drive the decision as to whether or not new facilities are necessary.

2) Plan ahead: Begin now to develop margin between your income and expenses so you can demonstrate actual ability to carry debt. Even expenses you’re carrying now that you won’t need later can help. For instance, if you’re paying rent on facilities you won’t need when your new facilities are completed, that money can be used to amortize your new loan. NOTHING beats building for cash when you think far enough ahead.

3) Start early: Banks used to be impressed by what was pledged. Now they want to have six to twelve months evidence of the commitments so capital campaigns need to start earlier in the process.

4) Be prudent: It’s important to work with professionals that have adequate experience in serving churches. Missteps can be fatal to a building program. We continue to see projects abandoned because a church trusted a price from a builder or architect that turned out to be too low. At best it put them back to square one; at worst it killed the project and left lingering costs.

5) Consider alternatives: We are seeing an increase in churches funding their needs through bond programs. Bonds often carry higher initial fees but are less expensive for the life of the loan. Consider these and other alternatives for the one that best fit your comprehensive financial plan.

Money is not likely to ever be this cheap so it can be a great time to finance a building program. Use these strategies to move ahead successfully.

There is a tendency in US Christianity to think we choose a path and then it’s God’s job to serve us in that journey. The reality God has called us to join his journey; one that is more amazing, wonderful, scary, awesome, engaging, dangerous, passionate and rewarding than anything we could ever dream of. The real music is in God’s journey. If you are leading people in that journey, this poem by Amena Brown will resonate with you:


We don’t lead from the safety of the fringe.
We take up residence in the fray.

Where change is happening
Where change is necessary.

There we find ourselves in a unique tug-of-war
between what was, what is, and what could be.

We are faced with the reality
that we are the catalyst in the moment.

A tension ensues between ambitions and fears.

We are tempted to bail on our goals
but discover that under pressure
our vision becomes remarkably crystallized.

A hundred voices attempt to sway us.
And we find we must lean into God with a faith
deeper than we have ever known.

Change happens in the very place where many leaders
flinch, fear, and fail.

The tension we resist is actually by design.
It tests us, it tries us,
It conforms us to His image.

The tension is necessary.
The tension makes us strong.
The tension is good.

Ten years and a day after she was born we buried her. She had become as much a part of our lives as anything not human could become. Nala had been suffering for a number of weeks and we sensed the end was near. While driving back to the office after a meeting I tried to reach my wife. When she didn't answer either the home phone or her cell, I drove straight to the vet’s office. She wasn't there so I drove home to find her lying on the floor comforting Nala. We both knew we had to take her to the vet but we also both knew the diagnosis would be, "It's time." I held Nala as the vet gave her a sedative and then we watched as the IV took her last breath. We carried her home and buried her in the corner of our property. And as we stood at her grave I was impressed by three lessons:

1) Everyday moments are precious - Years ago when my kids were young I would arrive home to exclamations of "Daddy's home!" As my kids grew older and the greeting waned, Nala continued to run to greet me, even in her last days. There’s nothing more mundane than walking into the house. And there’s nothing more exceptional than a simple, genuine greeting. Whose life can you enrich today with a smile and a strength-based compliment?

2) Life is a mixture of pain and pleasure – Standing over Nala’s grave my wife and I prayed thankfully for our marriage and the gift it has been to our lives. Some times have been beautiful. Some times have been tough (and this was one of those times). Somehow it’s the mixture of both and everything in between that makes life rich. Look for the touch of Jesus in every day.

3) It’s good to be loved – I watched the way my wife patiently cared for Nala even to the point when Nala could barely move. Her preference would have been to cover Nala with a light blanket and console her until she passed away at home. Most likely I will pass away before my wife. I am comforted to see how deeply she is able to love even a pet. I will be cared for in a special way in my last days. Do your loved ones know that kind of commitment from you?

Carpe Diem!
(even in the mundane)

We may be seeing indications that “The Great Recession” is turning around. We can’t know for sure yet but what we can be certain of is that all of us have been impacted one way or another. Unemployment reached 10.9% and underemployment reached 20.4% (per Gallup Daily tracking). And the reach of the recession was worldwide. In Gallup's Personal Economy Index (measuring the outlook people have on the local job market and local economy, as well as their outlook on and satisfaction with their own standard of living) 61 of 96 countries dropped significantly. Then you have the oil spill exasperating the situation in the states surrounding the Gulf of Mexico. And what about the tragedies and catastrophes that happen on a personal level even when the economy is humming?

The truth is life is filled with times of pain and pressure just as it is filled with times of jubilation and joy. The only difference now is that many more of us are in a season of challenge. So what will you make of this season? What will you let this season make of you?

These crucible times test our character. They test the platitudes learned in Sunday School that we often cite to others when they’re going through difficulties. If there’s enough heat and pressure, crucible times will test what we believe about ourselves and even what we believe about God. I have learned that is a good thing – a very good thing. I am convinced God wants a deep relationship with us and he will use the difficult times to move us deeper. I think he wants us to wrestle with him until the principles we profess get anchored in our very being, until we say (as Job did), “I had heard of you, now I know you intimately.” We just need the guts to face the facts.

In his book, Integrity, Dr. Henry Cloud defines character as “the ability to meet the demands of reality.” You see it doesn’t matter if you observe the glass half empty or half full. Those are just statements of fact. What matters is:

What are you going to do with that knowledge?