Leadership is often portrayed as taking a position out in front of everyone else in a sort of pristine paradise where the line of site to the future is clear, the sun is shining and the air is fresh and clean (ever hear the phrase “only the lead dog smells fresh air”?). Sometimes a more accurate way to think of leadership is being in the thick of battle. A battle where your view is clouded by smoke and you’re covered in sweat and mud, armed only with a passion and perspective that’s fueled by a vision for a better future.

Leadership is a contact sport. You can’t be in leadership for very long without taking some blows. Many of them we expect as leaders and we deal with directly because we’ve chosen to step into the arena. Still some come from unexpected places at unanticipated times from unlikely people. The blows are mental and emotional rather than physical but they take their toll. Over time it can create a tendency for us to take steps to protect our hearts by building up defenses. Then…

“We dress up these defenses, give them principled and virtuous names. Cynicism is called realism. Arrogance masquerades as authoritative knowledge, and callousness becomes the thick skin of wisdom and experience.”

As you take time to reflect over the holidays I encourage you to examine your heart. Have you built up any defenses, however you’ve named them? Have you lost any aliveness? In the quietness of the presence of the Spirit of God take a look at Romans 8 where you will find:

  - We are not condemned, but have been given life. 
 - We are encouraged to live by the Spirit, not as slaves, but as adopted sons and daughters of the God of the universe.
 - Even when we don’t know how to pray, we know “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
 - “He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”
- Always keep in mind that “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Leaders experience difficult days, but God promises that even in these dark times “God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Embrace God. Express your aliveness. The people you lead depend on it.

“The most difficult task of leadership involves learning to experience distress without numbing yourself...
…The hard truth is that it is not possible to experience the rewards and joy of leadership without experiencing the pain as well. The virtue of a sacred heart lies in the courage to maintain your innocence and wonder, your doubt and curiosity, and your compassion and love even through your darkest, most difficult moments”


NOTE: The quotes above are from the “Sacred Heart” chapter of Leadership On The Line by Ronald A. Heifetz and Marty Linsky

There’s a lot of talk about “community” these days. We sense that as a culture we’re becoming more fragmented and alone. We don’t often experience the kind of connectedness in our lives that we wish we could. We believe that being in community with others could produce much needed relationships. But, the reality is that many of us don’t really know what real community looks like. Life is messy, often hard, sometimes tragic. Yet it’s in that messiness and that difficulty and that tragedy where genuine community – or lack thereof – is exposed.

Last week a friend of mine showed me a letter he’d received from a friend of his. I got his permission to share that letter with you (the names have been changed). This is what genuine community looks like:

Hello, folks!

I have wanted to write this letter of thanks for a long time. So please bear with me as I stumble through this. There is a saying that “you can’t choose your family.” As with all rules, there are exceptions. You, my friends, are exactly that—the exception! You are part of our family! And I am so thankful that God brought you into our lives.

The last couple of years for us have been interesting, to say the least. Trying to figure out how to deal with John’s on-going battle with alcoholism, his accident, his relapses and recoveries have been like…sailing in uncharted waters. You’re in a horrible storm, it’s dark and you have no compass and no idea of how you are going to get through it.

Just when things are at their darkest, a light reaches out and touches you. Both of you brought that light into our lives. You open your hearts time and time again through your special gift of listening. Your “gift” has helped our family in such a deep and meaningful way, one that I can never fully explain or thank you enough for. Through all of this you have always been there—listening—with your hearts always open to our latest challenge. You were never too tired or busy, never judgmental, just there for me and my family.

Because of your “special gift”, you have enabled me to become a better husband to my wonderful Angela. You allowed me to release my fears and pain which made me stronger for her when she needed to release hers. You gave me strength to be a better father to John. Instead of bottling everything up and making the storm worse, you helped me by giving me an outlet to ease a lot of that pain and fear.

You are both extraordinary and have made such a difference in our lives. You both helped guide us through some of the darkest hours of the storm. Thank you both for your very special gift to us and for being a part of our family.

This week we will celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus came to save the world – salvation and restoration. When asked about the most important commandment, Jesus said loving God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and loving others as ourselves. We were created for relationships. And it is through these relationships that God works his power of recreation. Make the effort and the sacrifice to experience Jesus in genuine community.

Merry Christmas and Peace

We have been unpacking a research project with the NACBA to better understand the impact of building programs on churches and what we could learn to assist churches in future building programs. For me, the most compelling part of the research came from the answers to the last two questions. They had the opportunity to write in answers to “In the next project, what would you definitely do differently” and “In the next project, what would you definitely do the same”.

Some of the answers struck me funny:
• “Not force me to answer stupid questions.”
• “Have our Senior Pastor go on vacation while we build the buildings.”

Some were instructional:
• “Remove the church’s building team completely from the future building projects. They don’t understand the purpose and ministry of the church.”
• “(Don’t) cut corners to save money…either do it right or don’t do it.” and “Not let the vision exceed our ability to service the financing.”
• “Never try to be the GC (general contractor) on a project.”

Some raised more questions than they answered:
• “I would like to use a different architect, but cannot do so for political reasons.”
• “We have a new pastor, so nothing will be done the same way.”

And in some you could feel their pain:
• “We are not building again.”
• To the question “what would you definitely do differently” – “everything.”
• To the question “what would you definitely do the same” – “nothing.”

We grouped the write in answers and found that most fell into these three groups: 1) Design and Construction Partners 2) Communication and Vision Casting 3) Raising Funds. The number one group, by far, had to do with the decisions regarding the design and construction professionals and how they work together (i.e. project delivery method). Of that group 37.9% wanted the same architect and/or contractor and/or team, and another 27.9% wanted a different architect and/or contractor and/or team. The number of answers referencing the same team, different team or design/build (33.3% total) would indicate that where there was good collaboration, they wanted that to continue. However, where there was not good collaboration, they didn’t want to see that happen again. It was clear from the research that when it comes to developing needed ministry facilities:

Who you select as your design and construction professionals and how they work together is likely the most important decision you will make.

(For a copy of the full article please email - info@cogun.com)