Appreciation

Bill Couchenour | Monday, August 15, 2011

Do you remember a time when someone made you feel appreciated?

Do you remember what it felt like to be genuinely valued?

Appreciation is powerful because it adds to our sense of wholeness as an individual, yet connected to others in a community. Appreciation can feed our sense of meaning & purpose and give us hope, regardless of the current circumstances. Those are life-giving moments. Moments that for some people have been transformational in their lives. Think of the emotions you felt just now recalling a specific time when you were appreciated, or the emotions you’re feeling because it’s been so long since you’ve felt appreciated.

So why doesn’t appreciation happen more often?

One reason may be because some people don’t have a sense of gratitude. It’s nearly impossible to offer authentic appreciation when you don’t feel grateful. Another reason may be because we tend to see people with a label. It can be difficult to give appreciation to someone from another political or religious persuasion, when we subconsciously allow ourselves to reason that, if they’re wrong about that, how can they be right about anything. Another reason might be because we’re not good at it. We may have simply trained ourselves to see the negative first and foremost, or, maybe, our only examples of appreciation were actually manipulation. Perhaps the biggest reason is because we just don’t think of it. I know that I have had to be intentional about appreciation. Even though I deeply value people, too many times it doesn’t make it out of my head and heart to my lips and pen.

Let’s purpose to live gratefully, recognizing the value of the individual and be intentional about giving authentic appreciation. We have the power to create life-giving moments.

I often think back to a podcast by Len Sweet from his “Napkin Scribbles” series (hosted by George Fox Evangelical Seminary). The podcast is entitled, “The Water and the Words” and the premise is based on work by the Japanese researcher, Dr. Masaru Emoto. In his book, The Miracle of Water, Dr. Emoto found that words impacted the formation of water crystals. The more positive the words, the more beautiful the crystals. The language didn’t matter because it wasn’t the vibration of the sounds – it was the meaning. And the two words that formed the most beautiful water crystals were Love and Gratitude. If that’s true and the earth is made up of 70% water – we’re made up of 70% water – then “Love” and “Gratitude” become very powerful words.

What life-giving difference could you make today by using the 2 most powerful words in the world?

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The Internet at 30,000 Feet

Bill Couchenour | Monday, August 08, 2011

I was on a flight recently working on my computer and quietly complaining to myself about how slow the internet connection was. Then it dawned on me:

I’m sitting in a relatively comfortable seat (though I could use a little more leg room) flying at 600 mph and at nearly six miles above the earth.
AND I HAVE INTERNET ACCESS!

Funny how we take the opportunities in life for granted.

My preference when flying is always an aisle seat. Easy in, easy out – just like riding a bus. If necessary, I’ll take a window seat (anything to avoid the dreaded middle seat). But, when I do need to take a window seat, I am always amazed. At some point, I stop working long enough to look out the window to realize I am in the clouds. When you come through the clouds on the descent, you can see for miles. I try to imagine how many people, how many dogs, even how many insects are in the area of the earth that I can see at the moment. I think about the circumstances and the stories that would be represented by the thousands of people in this area of the earth. Then I realize that, as big as that area of the earth is, it’s a relatively small area on a relatively small planet in one of countless galaxies in the universe. And I again, get a glimpse at how much bigger God is than I had allowed Him to become in my everyday life.

Funny how we take the bigness of God for granted.

I can still remember an evening years ago when an architect friend of mine and I were driving back from a meeting in Florida. The sunset was spectacular (as many in Florida are). I remember the evening not just because of the sunset, but also because of our conversation. We were realizing that as spectacular as the sunset was, it was free. If it could be captured and ransomed, it would be priceless. Neither of us could afford it, yet God gives it to us for free. That led us to realize that the priceless blessings in life are, in fact, free. A brilliant blue and orange sunset. The aroma of fresh cinnamon bread. The taste of our favorite food. An embrace by a loved one. A simple, heartfelt “I love you.” The grace of an awesome God.

Funny how we take the priceless blessings of life for granted.

Pause, for a moment. Is there anything you’re taking for granted today?

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If the pilot says, “Never mind, we’re good to go”, should you be worried?

Bill Couchenour | Monday, August 01, 2011

My first flight was cancelled. We actually boarded, pulled away from the gate then sat on the tarmac until we heard the pilot say over the intercom, “Sorry folks, we’re having trouble with the flaps. They may tell you the flight is delayed but this plane isn’t going anywhere today.” We limped back and deplaned. They rerouted me through Philly on a fairly uneventful flight. But the flight from Philly to home (last one of the night) was delayed. We eventually boarded then waited for 9 people that were coming over from a Frankfurt flight. The pilot said it would just be a few minutes because the Frankfurt flight was already in. Nearly an hour later the Frankfurt 9 joined us and we were finally on our way. We pulled away from the gate and stopped – again.

The message from the pilot was genuinely heartbroken: “Folks, I have bad news. We have a mechanical problem and we have to go back to the gate.” The plane felt like it decompressed under a collective groan. We didn’t move for a couple minutes when the pilot came back on to announce, “Never mind, we’re good to go.” I strained to discern whether or not he was satisfied that the mechanical problem was truly resolved or if it was some sort of bravado. I found myself wondering about the personality profile of the pilot.

Often times in life we’re faced with whether or not this is a time to press on through the pain or pause and heal.

I have been faced with that question many times throughout my years in sports. Is it an injury or just soreness? My high school football coach taught me to assume it was just a temporary pain. In his mind, there wasn’t anything a little athletic tape couldn’t fix (I guess that’s why I stayed in another play after breaking my wrist in two places). There have been times when a good run actually healed the pain in my back. But there have been times when I pushed it too far and my wife had to gingerly help me into the back seat so she could drive me to the emergency room.

If I run with a knee injury I can do some damage to my body. But that’s nothing compared to the damage that can be done running through life with an injury to my soul. How about you? Are you going through a difficult time right now? Is it one of those times where you just have to grit your teeth and gut it out with God’s help? Or have you had a soul injury? If so, now’s the time to heal. I encourage you to listen in prayer, seek Godly counsel and get the injury healed. Jesus, the great physician for our bodies and our souls, is waiting for you now.

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What I’ve Learned From Uphill Battles in the Past

Bill Couchenour | Monday, July 25, 2011

This has been a incredibly difficult economic time in the US. There’s not one of us that, if we haven’t lost a job, doesn’t know a family member or friend that’s become un or underemployed. It has touched us all. And, the truth is, no one knows for sure when or how fast we will rebound. When it does come back no one can be sure what will have changed permanently. What we do know is that, from a business perspective, it’s going to be an uphill battle for a while. I’ve been in some uphill battles before and here’s what I learned:

A) Prayer changes our surroundings: I had one of my most difficult years, personally, in 1995. I had moved my family during some economic uncertainty leaving behind all my business contacts and connections. It was a move that I was convinced God wanted us to do but scary along the way. It was touch and go throughout the year and that kept us close to God in prayer. That December I received the best Christmas gift ever! My brother had kept track of answered prayers from throughout the year a pulled them together into a single file. It was confirmation of how God had been working in very specific ways. That file started a “God folder” of answered prayers I keep in a drawer immediately to my right. God is not a Genie that is there simply to grant our wishes but prayer changes things. (BTW – when people get three wishes from a Genie, why don’t they ask for more wishes when they get to the third wish?)

B) Prayer changes me: – I learned that security outside of God is an illusion. I learned that our circumstances tomorrow are guaranteed by no one but the promises of God for joy, peace and wisdom are true. And, when we let him, he does use all things for our good. I was different, I am different because of prayer during those days.

C) There are 2 ways to live - Fearfully & Frustrated or Purposefully & Prayerfully: Often I am tempted to live fearfully (which usually means I’m trusting in something other than God). When that happens I get frustrated with everything and everyone around me. But I can live Purposefully recognizing the great opportunity/responsibility God has given me to serve. And I can live Prayerfully asking for God’s direction and wisdom and finding his peace and joy. I know the choice is up to me and I choose Purposefully & Prayerfully. I still wake up at 4:00 am from time to time tempted with fear. But, when I do, I use that time to talk as intimately as I know how with God. It’s a choice that becomes easier to make over time.

What do you choose?

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Using Bamboo for Church Structures

Bill Couchenour | Monday, July 18, 2011

I was interested to find out that they utilize bamboo scaffolding for construction in Hong Kong. It struck me as odd that they even use it for skyscrapers. As it turns out, bamboo is incredibly strong. In Oxford studies from the 1920’s they proved bamboo to be similar in strength to steel. Add to that the fact that bamboo plentiful, cheap, renewable and lightweight and it’s no wonder it’s used throughout Asia.

A new friend, Chris Weinand, used the metaphor bamboo scaffolding recently in a way that captured my attention: We need to use bamboo scaffolding to build our church structures.

Think about the life cycle of a church. A church typically begins with a vibrant, compelling story. The atmosphere is electric. There is excitement and sacrifice. People seek God’s wisdom and guidance through prayer and the scriptures. As the church grows there’s a need for the scaffolding of procedures, practices and processes. Unfortunately, somewhere down the road it starts to become about the procedures, practices and processes and not the ministry. If the story is not redeemed and retold, the scaffolding strangles the structure. The challenge for most churches is that their scaffolding is made of steel and becomes undistinguishable once it’s intertwined with the structure. That makes it very painful for churches when they realize they need to change the scaffolding to be true to the story. More often than not they don’t change, they slowly pass away.

But what if we built our procedures, practices and processes out of bamboo? What if we saw them as temporary from the beginning? Means to an end.

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4th of July Surprises from the NACBA in DC

Bill Couchenour | Monday, July 11, 2011

Last week I (along with my brother, Jim) had the privilege of speaking at the 55th National Conference for the National Association of Church Business Administrators (NACBA). The title of our session was (not so surprisingly) “Developing Compelling Ministry Facilities.” The conference was being held over the 4th of July weekend to take advantage of being in Washington DC for Independence Day. The NACBA always does a wonderful job administrating their conferences at fantastic places so we were excited to be included.

We had a good feel for our session but there were a few surprises:

- Given our time slot of 2:45 to 4:30 on the afternoon on the 4th of July, Jim and I wondered if we’d be the only two in the room. Yet nearly 60 showed up on Independence Day – in the Nation’s Capitol! It just goes to show that church business administrators are committed to learning for certification, needed information for an impending expansion project, or both.

- During the course of our seminar I asked how many people were suffering with facilities that weren’t well designed for their ministry needs. I thought there would be a few, maybe even 25%. However, I did not expect that nearly everyone would respond, some with emotion, and I didn’t notice anyone that didn’t raise their hand. We tend to quantify the cost of buildings in dollars and cents but there can be an even greater cost when the facilities do not match the ministry.

- After spending the entire 1 hour and 45 minutes together, I was surprised by how many people wanted to spend more time together discussing the subject. We spent another half hour together with some of the attendees. These people were engaged!

- The final surprise was more of a reminder since I had known it before. I knew as business administrators the nuts and bolts of an expansion project would resonate with them. You would expect subjects like project delivery methods, committee structures, financial guidelines, timelines, etc to be a natural for them – it’s what they deal with every day. What you might not expect is that the ministry perspective resonates with them even more. They want facilities that are energy efficient and easy to manage but they get the fact that’s worthless if the facility isn’t impacting ministry.

If you are a business administrator and aren’t a NACBA member, we highly recommend them. If you are a facilities manager, here’s another great organization: National Association of Church Facilities Managers (NACFM).

Always remember: It’s never about the buildings – it’s about the ministry!

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The Qualities of a Life Well Lived

Bill Couchenour | Monday, July 04, 2011

Several weeks ago I was thinking about the qualities of a life well lived. You know, one that has no regrets, is able to be present in the moment and builds a foundation for the future. Here are the attitudes/actions I think (at least my current thinking) produce a life well lived:

1) Prayer (asking and listening so that God may work through me)

2) Focus (Clarity on the broad goals and what they mean to me today/this week)

3) Wisdom (gathering promised divine wisdom as well as the wisdom of counselors)

4) Integrity (everything done with purity and wholeness; words, actions and attitudes line up)

5) Passion (not always expressed emotionally but a gut level connection with God’s purpose for my life)

6) Service (This is the posture God would have me take in my life and work)

7) Faith (a strong belief that God is passionate about my good regardless of what I see at the moment)

Let me be clear, these are what I aspire to, not what I live every day. But I pledge to you that I will, in God’s strength, live these qualities this and every week. If our primary purpose is to bring glory to God, this is probably a good start. But…

…what did I miss?

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How do you build Trust in your organization?

Bill Couchenour | Monday, June 27, 2011

Last week we saw how trust can significantly improve financial results, creativity, innovation and adaptability of an organization. But, how do you build trust? I remember something Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith wrote a few years ago that captured my attention1:

“…most of trust comes not from a particular technique, but from the character of the leader.”

Bennis and Goldsmith go on to say that, “In order to create trust you need four ingredients.”:

1) Competence – People need you to be competent at what you do. As Christ-followers we should always be striving to be the best we can be. One of my all-time favorite quotes comes from Dorothy Sayers:“The first demand on a carpenter’s religion is that he makes good tables. What use is anything else if in the center of his life and occupation he is insulting God with bad carpentry.”

2) Congruity – People need you to be a person of integrity. The word “integrity” implies wholeness. In other words, your thoughts, words, actions and intent all need to be congruent. “The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart” (Psalm 15:2).

3) Constant – People need to know what they can expect from you. They need to know that in the heat of battle you will act in a manner that’s in keeping with what they see from day-to-day. It doesn’t mean you can’t express emotion or that you can’t change your mind. It means that you won’t do either of those in a way that catches them by surprise. Live your guiding principles. “I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken” (Psalm 16:8).

4) Caring – People know that you genuinely care about them. They need to know that they are not simply a means to an end. The roots for this is found in one of the two most important commandments given to us by Jesus (Matthew 22:39) and the benefits far outweigh the efforts not to mention the additional strength when we knit ourselves together in a vision (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

If you have influence over anyone (including, perhaps especially, volunteers) in an organization, you are a leader. And that means we are responsible for the four ingredients above that speak to character, not technique.

“The trust factor is a social glue that binds commitment and promotes action necessary to produce results.
Without it, you can’t win.”

1 from Learning To Lead – A Workbook On Becoming A Leader by Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith

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Can you put a dollar value on Trust?

Bill Couchenour | Monday, June 20, 2011

Fortune Magazine released their Top 100 companies to work for in 2011. Through the Great Place to Work Institute they received and analyzed surveys from 311 companies and came up with this list. It didn’t surprise me that my favorite place to shop, REI, made the top ten. Any of the results surprise you? About two thirds of the score is made up of a trust index that measures the employees’ perspectives of leadership’s “credibility, job satisfaction and camaraderie. The other third of the score is derived from a culture audit.

But, does a high trust score have a strong correlation to the bottom line of a business or ministry?

According to the Spring 2011 issue of Leader To Leader (a publication of the Peter Drucker Foundation), in 2005 the companies with the highest trust factor achieved returns that were over four times greater than the rest of the market (per 2005 Russell Investment Group report). They also cited a PricewaterhouseCoopers report that found the top distinguishing characteristic between the best innovators and the worst was trust. And they found that “Evidence exists linking trust to the ability to create adaptive organizations, form strategic alliances, and work in virtual teams.”

It certainly seems intuitive that trust would be a positive component of any organization. But, did it surprise you that the correlation would be that strong? How would you evaluate the level of trust in your organization? Next week we’ll look at the components of building trust in an organization.

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A Strategy for Golf and Church Facilities

Bill Couchenour | Monday, June 13, 2011

In a recent conversation with one of our guys (Richard Chancy), he suggested that churches should consider a strategy for planning facilities that comes from golf:

“A conservative approach and
A cocky swing”

I like that in this context – Almost universally, the vision for a given church will exceed what they can afford in facilities to accomplish that vision. I don’t think that’s a bad thing – our vision should outpace what we can physically realize at this point in time. However, from time to time, a church leader will leverage that desire to plan facilities well beyond what they can conceivably afford. The rallying cry in that situation is usually, “You need to have faith!” True, but when does faith become presumption?

God has ordered the physical world according to laws and relationships. On some occasions, He will act miraculously in a way that goes against those laws and relationships. Gravity is one of those laws that impacts us every day. If I contemplate jumping off a 10 story building, there’s no doubt in my mind that God can save me. There is also no doubt in my mind that, if He doesn’t, I’m a pancake. So, before I jump off that building, I want to make very sure I have heard from God and I am acting out of faith, not presumption.

The financial world, likewise, is ordered by laws and relationships. If you spend more money than you take in, you go broke - it’s just math (and God made math). There are a number of dangers associated with designing a facility beyond what the church can afford. First, the lost time and lost momentum can take a toll on a church, and you spend more money in the design and subsequent re-design. And there are extra costs for other reasons, including inflation, to consider. Per the ENR (Engineering News Record Index), the inflation in the construction industry over the past year has been 3.63% which means it will conceivably cost a church with a $4,000,000 project over $12,000/month for every month of delay. Also a 50,000 sq. ft. facility that was cut down from 75,000 sq. ft. is different, and probably not as effective, as a facility that was originally designed for 50,000 sq. ft. There can be other dangers, but perhaps the worst is when the project dies, and the physical limitations and/or the turmoil created by the failed program thwarts the growth of the church.

Please understand that I’m not saying you shouldn’t think big. On the contrary, I want you to DREAM BIG!!! I’m only suggesting that you consider the cost when it comes to the needed facilities for your next phase. If God provides the funding in a miraculous way, it is more desirable to scale up than to cut back. Over the years we have been introduced to hundreds of church construction projects that have stalled or died because they over estimated what they could afford or under estimated the cost. The result can be devastating. Here’s a good faith/presumption test: ask yourself, “Am I willing to put everything I own, personally, as collateral for this project?” If the answer is , “Yes”, then perhaps it is faith. If the answer is “No”, it’s more likely presumption, so take a conservative approach and then a cocky swing.

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Appreciation

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The Internet at 30,000 Feet

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If the pilot says, “Never mind, we’re good to go”, should you be worried?

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What I’ve Learned From Uphill Battles in the Past

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Using Bamboo for Church Structures

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4th of July Surprises from the NACBA in DC

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Phill Martin

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The Qualities of a Life Well Lived

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How do you build Trust in your organization?

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Can you put a dollar value on Trust?

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A Strategy for Golf and Church Facilities

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